Friday, January 6, 2012

No matter where you go, there you'll always be

Yeah, I know, pretty darn profound.  But I hope the point still gets across:  you will still be you no matter where you go.  Did Africa change that?  Heck no.  Do I still procrastinate?  Yes.  Do I still have trouble focusing on getting one message across rather than trying to get multiple points across in the classroom and sometimes wonder if I even got anywhere?  Yes.  Do I still have poor personal hygiene habits that lead my wife to looks of disgust?  Yes (I know that one came out of nowhere, but that’s what came into my mind next).  Do I still struggle with reading my Bible and praying?(praying for others back home and in the states has been especially I feel so detached from everything there) ...still a struggle..Yes.  Do I still like to control things, whether it be a conversation or outcome of things?  Yep. Am I still not as organized as I would like to be? Yep.  If I’m honest with myself, do I still look after me, myself, and I too much and not live as selflessly as I think I should?  Yeah. Does my wife still wish I was more romantic?  Yep.  And is this guy still searching for a way to make his 5-year anniversary special for his beloved wife who is exhausted and in bed right now?   Maybe?..   Do I still have trouble relaxing and being OK with not doing something or being busy? (which definitely has reared its ugly head on Christmas break!)  You guessed it…yep. 

A wise man once said that the common denominator in all the broken relationships you have is you.  That’s unnerving to hear…and own up to.  Me, myself and I have an uncanny ability to get in the way.

And I know that’s a pessimistic way of looking at things.  But it’s true.  Africa I’m sure has changed some things in both myself and Faith (and maybe the girls too).  It’s hard to always tell, though…at least while you’re in the midst of it.   Some things always seem to stay the same.  God, not Africa, will have to change those.

I think we’ll see more looking back on Africa in the rear view mirror. 


Fyi…5 more months.  We are over the hump and on the downward slope!


Lyndi said...

Miss you guys! Everytime I drive by the Sheridan exit on I-70 I think of you.

knit wit said... for thought! Our anniversary is in about a week...24years! Happy anniversary!